


The Interview

by tsuki_llama



Series: The Office [2]
Category: Darker Than Black
Genre: post season 1 AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-20
Updated: 2016-09-20
Packaged: 2018-08-16 03:57:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8086168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tsuki_llama/pseuds/tsuki_llama
Summary: In which Hei tries to apply to the police. As himself.





	

“Thank you for coming in, Mr. Li. I understand that Director Kirihara has already approved your application, but we are required to conduct a selection interview with all candidates before hire. Department policy.”

“She has? Uh, sure; I don’t mind.”

“Great, let’s get started then. Just answer each question honestly and to the best of your ability.”

“Honestly? Yeah, I can do that. Okay. Um.”

“First, why don’t you tell us about yourself.”

“Uh…like what?”

“Just a little about your life outside of work, why you want to be a police officer - that sort of thing.”

“Oh, okay. Um, well, I used to travel a lot. I like cooking, and reading, and learning new languages.”

“You’ve traveled? Where in particular?”

“Mostly southeast Asia. Korea, Vietnam, Cambodia, Singapore. I’ve also been to Russia, Brazil, and Argentina.”

“Oh, Cambodia is a beautiful country; I was in that region for holiday just last year. I have to say, Bangkok is a fantastic city - have you been there?”

“No! I mean no, I’ve never been to Thailand.” * coughs *

“That’s too bad; you should - wait, did you say Brazil?”

“Yes.”

“…How? That area’s been inaccessible for over five years.”

“Well, it was before the Heaven’s Gate disappearance.”

“Huh. What business brought you there?”

“Visiting my sister.”

“I see. That was fortunate for you, visiting before the war. Oh, but your sister - was she able to make it out?”

“No. Or maybe yes. It’s…not easy to explain.”

“I…see. Well, I am sorry for your loss. Let’s move on, shall we? So, what made you want to become a policeman?”

“Uh, well, I don’t, really. But I recently lost my employment, and I need work that keeps me active. Mis - uh, Director Kirihara suggested that I apply. That was last year; I didn’t think she was serious, but I applied now anyway, and I guess she meant it, because you called me for an interview.”

“That is…a little unusual. Most of our applicants have had dreams of joining the police their whole lives.”

“Oh. I didn’t. But, uh, I think I might be good at it?”

“Why do you say that?” 

“I guess I’m pretty good at hunting people down, subduing an opponent, following orders, that sort of thing.”

“I see. Speaking of following orders, let’s get to some more specific, scenario-based questions. Your supervisor gives you a direct order that you know is against department policy. What do you do? What if the order was against the law?”

“Like…against the law how?”

“What do you mean?”

“Is it something minor, like not returning a library book or breaking and entering, or more like, I don’t know, arson?”

“…I’m not sure why the relative severity of the order makes a difference.”

“I mean, if my supervisor asked me to destroy evidence to cover his own ass, I probably wouldn’t do it. But if it helped out someone who was in trouble, what would it hurt?”

“Li, I have to tell you that the police are not interested in the gray areas of the law. As far as we’re concerned, there  are  no gray areas. The correct answer is that you’ll gently suggest to your supervisor that the order falls outside of department policy, and if they continue to press the issue, you report it.”

“Oh.”

“You seem to disagree with that answer.”

“No, it’s a good answer.”

“Hm. Well, I’ll make a note here for Director Kirihara to follow up with you on this point. Next question: are you prepared to work weekends, holidays, unscheduled overtime, and night shifts?”

“Sure, I’m used to that. I work better at night anyway.”

“Give us an example of a situation when you had to deal with someone who you perceived was being unreasonable, irate, or hostile toward you.”

“Can you be more specific?”

“What do you mean?”

“Do you want an instance where they were just arguing with me, or actively trying to kill me?”

“…Why don’t you describe an example that best demonstrates your ability to deescalate a situation.”

“Okay. Um… Well, once I was working as a waiter in this restaurant owned by a Yakuza family, and a customer - who belonged to another crime syndicate - tried to leave without paying his bill. He got pretty angry when I gave him the check, and tried to hit me, but I held up my tray and he hit that instead. That made him more angry; but I just kept dodging his punches until he got tired. Then the boss stepped in and twisted his arm behind his back.”

“Did you call the police to deal with the situation after that?”

“No, they just took him out back and beat him up.”

“I…see. Let’s do another scenario question. Another officer and you make a traffic stop in which the driver is subsequently arrested. During the vehicle inventory, a large sum of money is located under the seat. Your partner indicates he is going to keep the money. What do you do?”

“I…tell him that it’s against department policy?”

“Good. What else?”

“Uh…does it matter whether the money legally belonged to the driver or was drug money or anything like that?”

“No.”

“Okay. If he still wants to keep it, I guess I should report it?”

“You guess?”

“Yes. I mean yes, that’s what I would do.”

“Uh huh. Moving on. Tell us about a major accomplishment you have made with a team of co-workers.”

“A major accomplishment? With a team?”

“Yes.”

“Well, I usually work best alone, but I was assigned to a team when I was here in Tokyo last year. I guess the big thing that we accomplished was stopping the Tokyo Explosion.”

“…Your team? Stopped the Syndicate’s plan to wipe out contractors?”

“Yeah. We wouldn’t have been able to do it without working together; we ended up being a pretty good team, which is weird considering that my handler shot me once for not obeying orders. Two of my partners…they sacrificed themselves to do it. I hadn’t expected that.”

“Well. That’s…well. Um, last question: if selected, the department will make a huge investment in preparing you to serve as an officer. Why should we select you over other candidates?”

“Other candidates? Well, other people probably are better qualified than I am, and actually spent time studying for it. I don’t think I’d be a huge investment though.”

“Why not?”

“I’m basically already trained.”

“In what way?”

“Um, well, I’m fluent in six languages, proficient in a seventh. I’ve mastered four styles of martial arts and hand-to-hand combat, with a specialty in edged weapons, and I have over ten years experience in specials ops, espionage, contractor-related situations, and guerrilla warfare.” *pause* “I’m not great with firearms though. I could probably use some more training there. Also I don’t know how to fill out reports. Police do that a lot, right? Fill out reports?”

“What? Uh, yes. Reports, yes. Well, I suppose, ah, I can see why Director Kirihara wanted to bring you in. To be perfectly honest, the hiring department thought that your application must be a joke; but when it crossed her desk she told us to call you in right away.”

“Oh? I mean, I maybe didn’t include everything that I should have, but it’s all true. For the most part. The birthday is made up; I can’t remember my actual one.”

“Ah? Well, regarding the application - I did want to clarify a couple of issues. For contractor status, you drew in your own bubble and called it ‘not really’.”

“That’s right.”

“So are you or are you not a contractor?”

“Mostly not, I guess. Director Kirihara knows the circumstances; I’d rather not go into it.”

“Uh huh. I was going to ask why you didn’t list any previous employers, but I suppose you’ve already addressed that, in a way. Next: under references you wrote ‘dead’.”

“That’s right.”

“All of your references?”

“Yes.”

“…How did they die?”

“Painfully.”

“That’s not quite what I meant.”

“That’s all I’m going to say.”

“I…see. Well, as I said, the Director has already approved your application. I’ll just make some notes on your file for her to look over, and…I suppose she’ll be giving you a call. Thank you for coming in, Mr., ah, Li.”

“Uh, sure. Thanks.”


End file.
